i'm a little depressed
chilly grey listless perplexed
but not overwhelmingly so
haven't been bedridden sad in years
and for that i am eternally grateful
now i look at the downswing
i am the witness at a distance
i see my patterns
i notice my obsession with perfecting friendships
in my desire to maintain the illusion of control
i seek love and then reject affections
i pursue the unattainable
knowing, on some level, that i won't get it
because, on some level, i don't want it
wanting it and getting it would then mean
COMMITMENT
(gasp!)
...a fate worse than solitude?
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